Today I went with Lisa, Lars, and Joa to Garden in the Woods. It was pretty warm here today and very sunny. This is a picture from the website. We took pictures with Lisa's camera and I will put those up when she sends them to me.
My classes are over, but I still have one paper to write. My teacher was amazingly understanding that my life is in major shambles right now and that I needed an extension. I have written almost 2 pages and have about 15 more to go. sigh. I do know that I got an A in psychopathology. It was the only class that I liked this semester.
I have decided that I am not going to stay in my current apt. and have started the hunt. It sucks and could easily be a full time job.
Pictures will be up soon of the music therapy end of the year party.
If anyone is looking for a diet program I have found one that works. I would not recommend it, but it does shed the pounds. In the last 2 months I stopped taking my anti-depressant and fell back into a major depression. Still there, but back on a different drug and hoping things will improve soon. In the mean time I have lost between 10 and 15 lbs. Eating has been something that I have lost all interest in. Why am I spilling all of this really personal information? Because there are so many people that suffer from this and most people don't talk about it. Maybe it is too uncomfortable. Maybe they don't understand it.
My biggest pet peeve are the people that say, "i hope you get out of this mood soon." Well, let me tell you something. This is not a mood or bad day. This isn't something that I have chosen to be in or can choose to be out of. It's like having the flu or some other kind of medical condition. This is about me, not about how uncomfortable you are with me in this state. My friends here have been amazing and I thank them for everything. I would not still be here (or out of the hospital) without them. Thank you dearly.
2 comments:
I wish I could say something enlightening to make your life all better...but just know that I'm thinking about you! Hope all goes well with your apt. search - I know it's no fun (we just went through another one), but it really helps to have a place you love to come home to! What's you reason for moving? Too far away?
Take care, Michelle...
Michelle, your pain is so real & deep & palpable. It's one of the hardest places to be, in this tunnel trying even to get the energy to lift your head & peer around wondering if there will ever be light again... not to be able to enjoy the sun on your face or a delicious ice cream.... not even to remember what it felt like to enjoy--those things or anything else. It's heartbreaking to watch from the outside for all of us who love you, but it's not about us. It's about the biochemical monster that is depression and has chosen you--through no fault of your own--as a mind and body to inhabit.
I send you my heart & all my love. Your friends will do what we can to support you while you climb out of this place. But the climb is yours. The climb is yours.
We love you. We believe in you. You will see the light again. You will.
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